For me, starting a new job is exciting but also terrifying.  I wonder if I have done the right thing, I worry I will miss my old job, I fear that the company will regret hiring me and I wont be able to go the distance.  Does any of this sound familiar?

Starting my first full time PA role was so exciting and something I had been looking forward too and aiming for a few years which made the fear of getting it wrong even greater! I was determined to prove that I deserved this job and that going back to a 9-5 role where the kids would be at home by themselves for a few hours after school was not a mistake.  The kids were plenty old enough to not need me at home, even when I am home their out with friends or in their rooms, far too cool to hang out with their mum, but even still, mum guilt is a real thing and it often stops us from taking that next step. Sometimes doing something which is right for you, whether that’s a job move, house move, taking up a hobby, anything which has your best interests at the heart can seem selfish, but in truth you can only be your best self for those around you if you are happy.  Sometimes, especially as mothers in my experience, we keep ourselves in situations which do not bring us joy because it is easier for those around us, but is it truly better for them if we are stressed, unhappy, anxious or even depressed.  Sometimes the selfish choice is the right choice.

This job was quite a learning curve, the company had never hired a PA before, meaning my boss had never worked with one either.  There is always going to be some finding your feet with a new role but I had expected to be finding my feet whilst rushing around and being stressed about not knowing how to handle all the work flying my way, but that wasn’t the problem, in fact just the opposite.  With it being August it was a quiet month so I got to spend some time with the manager of each department getting to know them, their departments and how they all worked together within the company, this was hugely beneficial as it helped me settle in, even if it was a lot of information.  In terms of my day to day work, I immediately implemented some email and diary management systems for boss but otherwise I felt a little like I was twiddling my thumbs.  Being new I didn’t like to keep bugging people to teach me a new skill or hand me another project to help with, but as someone used to rushing around all day too busy to get a break the quiet time was unnerving.  I used my time as best I could by typing up my notes and exploring the companies website and intranet pages in order to immerse myself as much as possible but I had a bad feeling in my stomach.  I was constantly fearful that they would realise they didn’t really need a PA after all as I wasn’t earning my paycheque with the amount I was doing. 

By nature I am quite a shy and reserved person, especially in new situations.  I do not like to speak to loud, make a fuss, I hate confrontation and often don’t stand up for myself or have tricky conversations as I worry that I will come across as rude.  However, after a month in my new role I had to pull up my big girl pants and tell my boss how I was feeling.  In my one to one that week I told him that I didn’t have enough to do and I was worried I was not earning my keep, I was keen to help as much as possible wherever I could and was very happy to learn new things.  Would you believe it turned out my boss had been holding back giving me jobs, and asking the operations team (from whom I was taking over some jobs) to hold back to as he was worried I would feel overwhelmed if they gave me too much! From that point I started being taught how to do more, taking on more responsibilities, learned the office management elements of my role and started to feel useful.  There is nothing worse in my mind that feeling like your on the edge of something, I had been feeling like I was sat on the bench and now I was being let into the game (excuse the probably wrong sporting metaphor).  Nothing could stop me now.

Thanks for following!

Kay x